With the lackluster efforts of Terminator Salvation and the epileptic-fit inducing Bayhem of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2009 has proved to be the year of the underwhelming blockbuster. Here’s a look at 14 films I reckon are shaping up to be anything but a disappointment in the New Year.
While the financial crisis had economists crying themselves to sleep and Kevin Ruddbot going into media overdrive, it had a very different effect on moviegoers. It has been a record two-years at the box-office with audiences heading to the movies in droves, but that doesn’t necessarily mean there have been plenty of great movies. For every masterpiece like The Dark Knight that goes on to make almost US $1 billion in ticket sales, there’s something like Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen which does colossal sales but in reality is a piece of trash. In the meantime a gem like Mary & Max slips under the radar, while a tired, formulaic ‘comedy’ like Charlie & Boots is hailed a refreshing addition to Australian cinema. To avoid wasting your hard earned moolah on a film that flops as much as Pamela Anderson’s chest, here’s my guide to the must-see movies of 2010.
Inception
It’s true, we have about as many details on this film as Britney Spears has brain cells, but that’s not to say what we DO know isn’t exciting. Director Chris Nolan follows up the critical and commercial success of The Dark Knight with this very intriguing look inside what he calls “the architecture of the mind”. Batman fans went into cardiac arrest last year when Nolan announced his next film would not be a third Batman installment, rather a film he had written several years earlier. Details of the plot are being kept under tighter wraps than Tutankhamen with the actors forbidden to give anything away. This, in my humble opinion, hints there are more than a few twists, which would spoil the movie if known beforehand. Here’s what we know so far; the science-fiction thriller follows a CEO-type, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, who becomes involved in a blackmailing scandal. That’s it, that’s as much as we know. Oh, and the film falls under a few genres but knowing Nolan has written, produced and directed this latest effort makes me feel in safe hands considering he’s responsible for The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, The Prestige, Memento, Following and Doddlebug. Teamed with a ridiculously good cast including; DiCaprio at the fore, Ellen Page, Michael Caine, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy, and one of the finest emerging actors of our generation; Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Shot in five countries and with a budget of $200 million, you can expect something amazing. Inception is released on July 22 in Oz.
Machete
So, there’s this angry Mexican dude right? And he’s all, like, badass and awesome with a machete (hence the title). Oh, and there’s juicy babes Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsay Lohan too. Righteous. Well, that’s a very basic premise of Sin City director Robert Rodriguez’s Machete, homage to exploitation films of the 60s and 70s. An expansion of a faux trailer Rodriguez created to play at the start of his and Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse films, Machete follows a guy called machete (played by Rodriguez regular Danny Trejo) who’s out for revenge after being double crossed on an assassination job by the US Government. With its tongue so firmly in cheek, it may come out the other side, Rodriguez originally came up with the idea whilst filming Desperado and wanting to create a Mexican Jean-Claude Van Damme. It has taken until now to get it off the ground and into production, with Rodriguez co-directing and producing the picture with Ethan Maniquis. Along with Trejo, Alba, Lohan and Rodriguez, Adrian Brody, Robert De Niro and Jonah Hill will also star. Machete has an April 16 release date in the USA. But for those wanting a taste of what to expect, I suggest you watch the original Machete trailer on YouTube.
Toy Story 3
To infinity and be-, urgh, you know the rest. Everyone’s favourite (and probably the only) cowboy and space man duo are back for the third film in the beloved Toy Story series. Incorporating humour, heart and groundbreaking visuals, Toy Story set the standard for animated films and sparked a decade of imitators. After redefining our expectations and becoming a beloved classic amongst children and adults alike, the lads from Toy Story are back and hopefully in business. When their owner Andy heads off to college, the toys are left to deal with an uncertain future and new adventures, including a stint in a childcare facility. The toys will bound onto our screens on June 24.
The Cabin In The Woods
Joss Whedon, creator of Movie Mazzupial favourites’ Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse, takes a break from television and returns to the big screen with the horror film Cabin In The Woods. Okay, well, he’s not actually directing this time but since he’s worshipped by geeks and critics worldwide, anything Whedon writes, produces or blinks at is highly anticipated. Although originally tagged with a February 4, 2010 release date, The Cabin In The Woods has been pushed back to early 2011 with the recent announcement it’s going to be in 3D. So technically not a film for next year, but its flippant release dates (and the fact Whedon is my master) means it deserves a mention. Directed and co-written by Drew Goddard, the film plays on the `cabin in the woods’ horror movie formula and stars Aussie gun Chris Hemsworth. Sounds simple enough, but considering Whedon and Goddard have made arguably more contributions to pop culture than Andy Warhol, expect a clever play on the genre a la the Scream series. With the combined built-in fan base of Goddard and Whedon, and a depressing lack of original horror films, lovers of the genre are positively peeing themselves with excitement. For those of you playing at home, as well as writing for Buffy, Angel and Alias, and being one of the executive-producers of Lost, Goddard wrote the clever and hugely successful Cloverfield. If you’re still not convinced to worship at the Goddard-Whedon altar, perhaps The Cabin In The Woods promotional posters may change your mind? The three different taglines accompany the same image of a cabin, er, in the woods and read;
“If you hear a strange noise outside, have sex.”
“If an old man warns you not to go there, make fun of him.”
“If something is chasing you, split up.”
Seriously, consider me queuing at the box-office already.
Shutter Island
Martin Scorsese takes a well-deserved break from stellar crime drama’s and tries his hand at something startlingly creepier. From watching the trailer, you would swear this is almost on the verge of a supernatural-thriller, new territory for the Oscar winning filmmaker. Set in 1945, U.S Marshalls (played by Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo) investigate the disappearance of a murderess who escaped from a hospital for the criminally insane and is presumed to be hiding on the remote Shutter Island. Along with Michelle Williams, Emily Mortimer and Ben Kingsley as the utterly strange head psychiatrist, Shutter Island has plenty of frightful and dramatic moments throughout. From one of the great masters of modern day cinema, Scorsese’s latest looks set to mess with our minds come its February 18 release date in Australia.
Alice In Wonderland 3D
The king of quirk, Tim Burton, and his protégée; the prince of peculiar Johnny Depp, are teaming up again for their take on the children’s tale Alice In Wonderland. Considering Lewis Carroll’s classic story had themes of acid use, schizophrenia, and even the odd spot of decapitation, this should be right up Burton’s alley. If the teaser trailer is anything to go by, Alice In Wonderland 3D should be a spectacular twist on the other screen versions and more faithful to the source material. Set years after Alice’s first trip down the rabbit hole, Burton’s tale catches up with Alice (Aussie actress Mia Wasikowska) as a 17-year-old who rediscovers her past adventure including run-in’s with the Mad Hatter (played by Depp), Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (Little Britain star Matt Lucas), The White Queen (Anne Hathaway) and The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter). Arguably one of the most unique and visionary directors of our time, Burton’s debut shooting in 3D technology is one not to be missed. Alice In Wonderland 3D is out March 4 in Australia.
The Crazies
Would you believe George A Romero made a zombie film not many people know about? I know, I’m semi-shocked too, but thanks to a lack of creative minds in Hollywood, his `73 classic The Crazies is getting the remake treatment. And yes, although the word `remake’ in the same sentence as `horror’ usually has me contorting in despair, this actually looks . . .decent. There, I said it. If 300 and Watchmen director Zack Synder’s Dawn Of The Dead rehash has taught us anything, if done right, remakes can be pretty darn awesome. The Crazies certainly looks like it may fall into that category, if the trailer is anything to go by. Starring global ambassador for hot red-heads Danielle Panabaker, Timothy Olyphant and Australian actress Radha Mitchell, it follows the inhabitants of a small town in Iowa who become plagued by insanity, then death, when a toxin enters their water supply. FYI by die I mean turn into crazy, flesh-eating, zombie-esque creatures hence the title; The Crazies. Director Brett Eisner brought us Sahara a few years back, which is a major guilty pleasure of mine, and it looks like he has made one hell of a creeptastic horror movie (if you can overlook the use of another cover of Tears For Fears ‘Mad World’ in the trailer *groan*). The Crazies hits our shores in March.
Scream 4
While we’re on the topic of clever horror, Kevin Williamson and Wes Craven’s Scream series pretty much invented the notion of satirical horror film’s, with self-aware characters playing with genre conventions. The talent of the filmmakers and stars behind the franchise will be put to the test later this year, when a fourth installment hits cinema’s worldwide. While the first one surprised critics with its brilliance and audiences with its originality, the next bucked the sequel curse proving just as worthy and intelligent as Scream. The third, while still substantial, didn’t reach the bar set by the first two, but iconic horror director Craven said prepare for the fourth to blow your mind. Okay, he didn’t actually say that, I may have taken some creative liberty. But with all the original talent back for the fourth (and possibly final) Scream movie, you know it’s going to rock your world. Scream 4 has an October 1 release date in the US.
A Couple Of Dicks
I know, with a title like this you would expect some very interesting poster art, would you not? From the man who brought you such giggle inducing titles as Zac And Miri Make A Porno, comes Kevin Smith’s latest comedy starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as two cops trying to track down a stolen baseball card. Sounds simple enough, but the duo run into a few hurdles in the form of gangsters, laundered money and a damsel in distress. Former Gossip Girl Michelle Trachtenberg, Seann William Scott, Smith regular Jason Lee and Adam Brody also feature in the supporting cast. Smith’s signature raunchy humour and fanboy appeal isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of his previous work, this should be something to look forward to. February 25 is when you can see A Couple Of Dicks.
The Expendables
What they lack in brainpower, they make up for in biceps. Prepare for a testosterone overload as Sly Stallone jumps back into the directors chair for The Expendables, a film with possibly the best cast for an action movie ever. Seriously. Along with taking creative control, Sly stars as the leader of a team of mercenaries who head to South America to overthrow a dictator. Some of the other stars include Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Bruce Willis, Danny Trejo, Brittany Murphy, Charisma Carpenter and Arnold Schwarzenegger in his first return to the big screen since being elected governor. While the trailer has more explosions than Michael Bay on the fourth of July, The Expendables sounds and looks like a heck of a lot of fun. Sure, there’s bound to be plenty of clichés and action movie-isms, but you can always count on Stallone for entertainment value. The Expendables is out towards the end of August.
Precious
This puppy is one of the hot Oscar favourites and has already taken out the Special Jury Price for acting, the Grand Jury Prize and Audience Award at Sundance and the People’s Choice Award at the Toronto earlier this year. Based on the novel Push, by Sapphire, this film is heavy stuff (and I’m not referring to the lead actress either). Set in Harlem, the film follows Precious; an overweight, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her second child. Invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes that her life can take a new direction, she has to first confront the many issues that have contributed to her situation. Along with the skill of executive producer Oprah Winfrey and director Lee Daniels, the brilliance behind this film has been attributed to the strength of its three lead actresses; newcomer Gabby Sidibe as Precious, Mo’Nique as her abusive mother Mary and particularly Mariah Carey as the school counselor. While Carey’s presence in a small, low-budget, complex drama may surprise a few, the diva had to undergo some physical changes for the role including having to wear no makeup and a prosthetic nose for the shoot. In fact, she may have even bucked the memory of Glitter amongst critics with whispers of a potential best supporting actress Oscar nod. But really, it’s no secret that I’m a hardcore Mariah fan from way back, and emit a high-pitched squeal of appreciation for anything she does. Anything, you hear me all you Glitter haters! Precious is out in February. FYI I’m quite in love with both of the posters.
Kick-Ass
Although comic-book movies are becoming about as predictable and frequent as Megan Fox’s torso on the cover of a men’s magazine, Kick-Ass looks set to throw a metaphorical spanner into the genre. Based on a popular graphic novel series by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr, Kick–Ass follows the plight of an average high school boy who decides to become a crime-fighting superhero, despite having no powers. Sounds simple enough, but add murder, gangsters, sex, beatings, and a foul-mouthed, 12-year-old assassin trained by her father (played by Nicolas Cage) and you have a story that was considered “too dark” to be made into a mainstream movie. A more confronting and realistic look at the notion of heroism for the YouTube and Google generation, Kick-Ass offers a substantial alternative to the fluffy, popcorn super-hero movies. Oh, and the guy who played McLovin’ is also in there for good measure. Kick-Ass is out late April.
Date Night
Comedy line-up’s don’t get much better this, and hopefully Date Night lives up to the expectations created by its amazing cast. The king and queen of comedy at the moment, Steve Carell and Tina Fey, play a married couple whose romantic evening turns into chaos after a case of mistaken identity. This movie would be worth seeing for the chemistry and natural comedic charm of Carell and Fey together, but it’s the supporting cast that really have the potential to elevate the comedy. Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Ray Liotta, Mila Kunis, Leighton Meester, Mark Ruffalo and Kristen Wiig are just SOME of the actors signed on to play the array of kooky characters Carell and Fey meet on their Date Night. How the director will tie such an impressive range of talent together for the film remains to be seen, but Date Night is out April 8.
The Fighter
Thankfully this is not a film adaptation of the Christina Aguilira song of the same name, cue collective sigh of relief. The Fighter takes a look at the early days of boxer `Irish’ Mickey Ward and his brother who helped train him before going pro in the mid 80s. The always impressive Mark Wahlberg is stepping into the ring as Ward, Christian Bale as his brother/trainer and Amy Adams is the love interest. As two of the finest actors and physical specimens around, watching Wahlberg and Bale together in this true underdog tale is going to be remarkable . . .and I’m not just saying that because Wahlberg is my future husband. Originally set for a mid-year release, word has it The Fighter is being pushed back to the end of the year due to its potential as a serious Oscar contender. The sports drama is new territory for the amiable David O. Russell, who knows how to get the most out of his leading man having directed Wahlberg in Three Kings and I Heart Huckabees. Keep an eye out for this one, as it has all the signs of a classic in the making.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
First of all, lower those torches and pitchforks. Let me assure you I’m not a Twihard, the name given to hardcore Twilight fans who wear Team Edward t-shirts, have pictures of Taylor Lautner under their pillow and similar creeptastic acts. While the first two films in the teenage vampire romance series may have had you reaching for a bucket, the third looks set to replace extreme close-ups of Robert Pattison with butt-kicking action and, dare I say it, gore. Finally! And it’s all thanks to David Slade, the director of the latest edition to The Twilight Saga and undoubtedly the most talented. While many of the finer details of the film are under lock and key, in a recent interview with moi British actor Charlie Bewley (who plays Volturi member Demetri) did allude to the fact Slade was handling the major battle scenes and increased violence `very well’.
“I think Eclipse is a darker film, David Slade is a master of mood in a film,” he said.
“He’s done a couple of big, big Hollywood films which have gone down very well, especially that vampire one 30 Days Of Night.
“And there’s Hard Candy which is brutal, it’s a fantastic film.
“I think it’s going to be a very brutal film with a lot of fighting and it’s really going to capture the whole viciousness of what a vampire is.”
With New Moon and Eclipse filmed back-to-back, the third installment has a June 30 release date leaving plenty of time for filmmakers to start tackling the final chapter; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.
Also keep a look out for The Ward, Iron Man 2, The Wolf Man, and Rec 2.
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Avatarts
A Serious Mango
The Blind Side-dishes
Brought a whole new meaning to blue steel 
Thank heavens she got the role of Precious otherwise what hilarious, over-the-top, confidence-addict would I had to laugh at this year? Seriously, everything 
I’m so over the verbal wanks about what an amazing person so and so is, and how inspirational it was to work with blah blah blah. Listen, an actor can give a great performance without having to be a decent person. So, it was very refreshing when instead of reciting a sonnet to the nominee for whom he was introducing, Tim Robbins just told a decent anecdote on Morgan Freeman said to him about being a friend on the set of The 
He looked like he was stoned. Sounded like he was stoned. Wobbled like he was stoned. Most importantly, he used the word “groovy”.
Altogether now, 
