Dancing in the Wall Street
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
(Above) “Sha la la la la la, my oh my, look like the boy too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl”
So, as I shamelessly mentioned yesterday (you can tell the word shameless has lost all sense of impact on me now) I’ve entered the Blockbuster Super Blogger competition and I NEED YOUR PAGE CLICKS SO PLEASE GO HERE! In other news, since I signed up to the competition two weeks after the fact I missed the first assignment. I thought I better get on to the second one which was to watch and review Wall Street 2. I hired it last night and I’ve got to say it was, well, meh. I think `meh’ sums it up for me pretty well. Anywho, instead of doing a standard review I thought I’d shake things up with a poem. Of course this puppy is posted on the Blockbuster Super Blogger site, but I figure there’s no harm in sharing it with my treasured Movie Mazzupial readers too. Admittedly I’m no John Keats, but I hope you dig it anyway.
There once was a man named Oliver Stone,
Who won three Oscars for his filmmaking roles.
But despite 22 feature films he’d never made a sequel,
That is, until he tried to make Wall Street’s equal.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps may be an indulgent title,
But to fans of the original, only the content is vital.
Michael Douglas is back as Gordon Gekko and fresh out of jail,
With the financial climate perfectly suited for this alpha-male.
Carey Mulligan plays Gekko’s daughter Winnie,
Who wishes her dad was far away, like, in New Guinea
But her boyfriend Jake, played by Shia LaBeouf,
Thinks Gekko can’t be such a colossal douche.
He enlists his help to get revenge on Josh Brolin’s banker,
Who drove a man to suicide like a true Wall Street wanker.
But things with Gekko are never quite so simple,
And the tycoon’s schemes pop Jake’s bubble like a pimple.
It’s been 23 years since Wall Street took centre stage,
And it seems the plotting and style of the first has been ingrained.
While the sequel is fine from a filmmaking point of view,
You can’t help but ask did we really need number two?
Perhaps the biggest error is the casting of LaBeouf,
It’s almost as bad as Josh Brolin as George W. Bush.
The smug, lil’ twerp is out of his depth,
And his plastic performance is a massive misstep.
While the supporting cast is impressive and not lacking in talent,
It’s the character set-ups that make them an audience challenge.
Sure, the dialogue is decent and the lines do what they should,
But there’s nothing as memorable as “greed is good.”
The film’s run time is like accumulated depreciation,
And by the end of 133 minutes it lost this reviewer’s appreciation.
Despite Wall Street proving to be an intangible asset,
The sequel feels more like a soggy baguette.
Yet it is refreshing to watch a Stone film that isn’t about a historical despot,
Minus the pseudo homosexuality in lingering shots.
After a six year wait between this film and the weirdness that was Alexander,
Stone fans don’t have to worry because his next project’s not left to flounder.
Savages is the new film to be directed by Oliver Stone,
Starring Jennifer Lawrence, from Winter’s Bone.
But lets be honest, despite the occasional thriller,
He’s never made a film as good since Natural Born Killers.
Read more...
There once was a man named Oliver Stone,
Who won three Oscars for his filmmaking roles.
But despite 22 feature films he’d never made a sequel,
That is, until he tried to make Wall Street’s equal.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps may be an indulgent title,
But to fans of the original, only the content is vital.
Michael Douglas is back as Gordon Gekko and fresh out of jail,
With the financial climate perfectly suited for this alpha-male.
Carey Mulligan plays Gekko’s daughter Winnie,
Who wishes her dad was far away, like, in New Guinea
But her boyfriend Jake, played by Shia LaBeouf,
Thinks Gekko can’t be such a colossal douche.
He enlists his help to get revenge on Josh Brolin’s banker,
Who drove a man to suicide like a true Wall Street wanker.
But things with Gekko are never quite so simple,
And the tycoon’s schemes pop Jake’s bubble like a pimple.
It’s been 23 years since Wall Street took centre stage,
And it seems the plotting and style of the first has been ingrained.
While the sequel is fine from a filmmaking point of view,
You can’t help but ask did we really need number two?
Perhaps the biggest error is the casting of LaBeouf,
It’s almost as bad as Josh Brolin as George W. Bush.
The smug, lil’ twerp is out of his depth,
And his plastic performance is a massive misstep.
While the supporting cast is impressive and not lacking in talent,
It’s the character set-ups that make them an audience challenge.
Sure, the dialogue is decent and the lines do what they should,
But there’s nothing as memorable as “greed is good.”
The film’s run time is like accumulated depreciation,
And by the end of 133 minutes it lost this reviewer’s appreciation.
Despite Wall Street proving to be an intangible asset,
The sequel feels more like a soggy baguette.
Yet it is refreshing to watch a Stone film that isn’t about a historical despot,
Minus the pseudo homosexuality in lingering shots.
After a six year wait between this film and the weirdness that was Alexander,
Stone fans don’t have to worry because his next project’s not left to flounder.
Savages is the new film to be directed by Oliver Stone,
Starring Jennifer Lawrence, from Winter’s Bone.
But lets be honest, despite the occasional thriller,
He’s never made a film as good since Natural Born Killers.
