In no way movie related, yet semi-interesting
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Below: A crazy week? Yes, yes it has been. However, still not as crazy as Britney Spears with an umbrella.
Talk about drama. The past week has been as close to Armageddon as me and mine are going to get in our sheltered corner of the GC. Lets start with an unfortunate friend who I shall call Birdie for the sake of anonymity. Birdie and her partner were having sexual liaisons and to cut a long, medically related story short she burst a blood vessel in her vagina. Yes, she broke her va-ja-ja. Sprained her squish mitten. Axed her bitch wrinkle. Smashed her ham wallet. After a night in hospital Birdie has been in considerable agony ever since, surviving only on a cocktail of morphine and Panadol Forte. As the doctors have told her, the only way to cure her ailment is bed rest and time. Severely immobilised friend aside, the next major drama has come from none other than Huey the Sea God and his pal upstairs. The Gold Coast has been lashed with hail, 100km plus winds and cement-like rain for the past five days and my home has taken it particularly hard. In summary, the roof has given up on life and needs to be replaced. Buckets have been placed under the leaking sections of roof but there’s not much you can do to prevent pieces of plaster falling off the ceiling and thwacking* you at inappropriate times. But really, when is an appropriate time to be thwacked* by a collapsing roof? Hmm? Luckily all is covered by insurance and I will be required to live in a provided apartment while the work is being done. A minor inconvenience for a new roof over my head. The next incident does not involve me directly but was a major bummer for my friends and surrogate family who live in the dainty, New South Wales country town of Grafton. The entire town has been evacuated due to major flooding. Thankfully my friends were too stubborn to evacuate and were instead surrounded by water and cut-off from the outside world for a few days. Much like Gilligan’s Island but on a volunteer basis. The floodwaters have finally started to subside and the clean-up in G-Town is beginning. One would dare think everything was back to normal for me and mine. That is until I slipped off a boat and sliced my leg open on a boardwalk yesterday. I was reporting from our annual Visually Rich and Lovin’ It Boat Show at Sanctuary Cove when the incident occurred. Ten stiches and a massive dent in my pride later, it is now official; this week of craziness has been the most . . .erm, crazy.
*Thwacking: a word Movie Mazzupial created which (in letters) mimics the sound made when a piece of ceiling makes contact with a person. It can also be applied to any scenario where a person is hit by a thwack-worthy object.
*Thwacked: variation of above word.
Talk about drama. The past week has been as close to Armageddon as me and mine are going to get in our sheltered corner of the GC. Lets start with an unfortunate friend who I shall call Birdie for the sake of anonymity. Birdie and her partner were having sexual liaisons and to cut a long, medically related story short she burst a blood vessel in her vagina. Yes, she broke her va-ja-ja. Sprained her squish mitten. Axed her bitch wrinkle. Smashed her ham wallet. After a night in hospital Birdie has been in considerable agony ever since, surviving only on a cocktail of morphine and Panadol Forte. As the doctors have told her, the only way to cure her ailment is bed rest and time. Severely immobilised friend aside, the next major drama has come from none other than Huey the Sea God and his pal upstairs. The Gold Coast has been lashed with hail, 100km plus winds and cement-like rain for the past five days and my home has taken it particularly hard. In summary, the roof has given up on life and needs to be replaced. Buckets have been placed under the leaking sections of roof but there’s not much you can do to prevent pieces of plaster falling off the ceiling and thwacking* you at inappropriate times. But really, when is an appropriate time to be thwacked* by a collapsing roof? Hmm? Luckily all is covered by insurance and I will be required to live in a provided apartment while the work is being done. A minor inconvenience for a new roof over my head. The next incident does not involve me directly but was a major bummer for my friends and surrogate family who live in the dainty, New South Wales country town of Grafton. The entire town has been evacuated due to major flooding. Thankfully my friends were too stubborn to evacuate and were instead surrounded by water and cut-off from the outside world for a few days. Much like Gilligan’s Island but on a volunteer basis. The floodwaters have finally started to subside and the clean-up in G-Town is beginning. One would dare think everything was back to normal for me and mine. That is until I slipped off a boat and sliced my leg open on a boardwalk yesterday. I was reporting from our annual Visually Rich and Lovin’ It Boat Show at Sanctuary Cove when the incident occurred. Ten stiches and a massive dent in my pride later, it is now official; this week of craziness has been the most . . .erm, crazy.*Thwacking: a word Movie Mazzupial created which (in letters) mimics the sound made when a piece of ceiling makes contact with a person. It can also be applied to any scenario where a person is hit by a thwack-worthy object.
*Thwacked: variation of above word.
0 comments:
Post a Comment