The 12 Best Prison Movies

I love my lists, but I've got to be honest and admit I didn't come up with the idea for this one. Instead, full kudos go to the team at Blockbuster video whose Assignment 6 in the Blockbuster Super Blogger competition loosely eluded to this idea. For those of you playing at home, I'm an entrant in the Blockbuster Super Blogger competition where two winners score a trip to the Cannes International Film Festival to report on the event. Awesome, right? To help send me to Cannes, all you have to do is click on my page and give me hits. So click, click, click puh-lease. Moving on, here's my pick of the 12 best communal soap films (aka prison movies).

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)Why not start with arguably the best? Based on Stephen King’s short story, this is cinematic storytelling at its finest. There’s not much I can say about The Shawshank Redemption that hasn’t already been said. Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman are unforgettable, almost equally as memorable as one of film’s greatest scenes – Andy standing free and liberated in the pouring rain. Magic.

Chicago (2002)

A sexy prison movie? If you be good to Rob Marshall, Rob Marshall will be good to you by rewarding audiences with an exciting and lush version of one of Broadway’s biggest hits. From the flawless casting and performances, to the on-the-money editing and musical numbers, this goes down as one of Hollywood’s best musicals and, coincidentally, prison movies.

The Great Escape (1963)

Steve McQueen once again proved he’s King in this Oscar-nominated tale of allied Prisoners Of War who plan a mass escape from a German camp during World War II. This real life account never gained the respect it deserved until years after its release, but thankfully, it’s now recognised as the classic it is.

The Green Mile (1999)

Random fact, but did you know Stephen King is the author with the most amount of works adapted for the big screen? Unfortunately, most of them are pretty darn terrible. The Green Mile is definitely not one of those. After the huge success of King’s prison tale in The Shawshank Redemption, director Frank Darabont returned for this spectacular supernatural epic set on death row. Tom Hanks and co-stars give incredible performances as guards affected by the presence of a convicted child murderer (Michael Clarke Duncan in his breakout role). Emotional, magical and moving, this retains much of Shawshank’s grandiosity – spanning years and lives. It’s important to note Movie Mazz favourite Sam Rockwell in scene stealing role as the despicable `Wild Bill’ Wharton.

Dead Man Walking (1995)This was the second of two stellar prison movies involving Tim Robbins released over a two year period, with everyone’s favourite strawberry blonde behind the camera as director, producer and writer his time. Based on Sister Helen Prejean’s book of the same name, Susan Sarandon plays the nun who becomes the unlikely friend to a convicted killer on death row (Sean Penn) and the victims’ families. An intelligent, eye-opening look at the death penalty, Sarandon won the best actress Oscar for her turn as the sassy and compassionate Prejean. In a testament to how deluded the Academy is, Penn lost out to Tom Hanks as a doofus in Forrest Gump.

Conviction (2010)

Sam Rockwell is back in jail in this under seen story about a single mother (Hilary Swank) who gets her highschool certificate then goes off to college and finally law school to become an attorney and free her brother (Rockwell) who was wrongly convicted of murder. Like a handful of films on this list, Conviction is based on an incredible true story and director Tony Goldwyn breathes life into this testament to love and loyalty. Swank and Rockwell carry the film with their powerhouse performances, with the supporting cast in Minnie Driver, Juliette Lewis and Melissa Leo rounding out an great ensemble acting triumph.

The Hurricane (1999)

He was a man the authorities came to blame, for somethin’ that he never done and it’s the Oscar Denzel Washington should have won. Instead, they gave him the compensation prize the following year, but there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that his staggering performance as an angry, talented and inspirational boxer; Rubin `Hurricane’ Carter should have been the real winner. Veteran filmmaker Norman Jewison is at his experienced best in this layered, powerful and ultimately heart-warming movie about a wrongly convicted man.

Stone (2010)

Edward. Norton. Has. Cornrows. If you need another reason to see this movie, then you clearly didn’t understand the full scope of that last statement – Edward. Norton. Has. Cornrows. He also delivers a fantastic turn as another manipulative psycho in John Curran’s Stone. Norton is a convicted arsonist who looks to manipulate a parole officer (Robert DeNiro) by placing his beautiful wife (Milla Jovovich) in the lawman's path to secure his parole. It’s a complex, twisted tale and looks at prison life through the perspective of three very different people affected in three very different ways.

Alien 3 (1992)

The only film on this list which features aliens and Sigourney Weaver-awesomeness. A very different film from the first two, both tonally and literally, Alien 3 comes from the demented mind of David Fincher. Many have criticised this industrialised take on the sci-fi series, but I say you can’t knock any flick brave enough to put girl-power icon Ripley in an all-male prison AND pull it off.

Rescue Dawn (2006)

Possibly the two bat-shit craziest people in Hollywood – Werner Herzog and Christian Bale – team-up for this account of a US Fighter pilot's epic struggle of survival after being shot down on a mission over Laos during the Vietnam War. Bale once again drops about four small children’s worth of weight and completely immerses himself in a character who’s biggest enemy is the harsh environment keeping him prisoner.

The Longest Yard (1974)

This con-comedy proves the original is often the best with Burt Reynolds starring as a former pro quarterback, now serving time in his prison, asked to put together a team of inmates to take on the guards. Gen Y’ers probably saw the Adam Sandler remake with Nelly, Chris Rock and Reynolds in a supporting role. The rest of us probably wish we hadn’t.

The Rock (1996)This is the only Michael Bay film I like. Period. As a general rule I tend to hate Bayhem – kill me if I think films need more than explosions and penis metaphors – but I actually enjoyed this. From Nic Cage doing his good guy-in-a-bad-situation shtick to the overly dramatic action scenes, this is a guilty popcorn pleasure. Sean Connery is also pretty awesome as a gnarly Scottish super-con. The Rock is the film that really kick-started Cage’s 90s action movie reign (which seems about implausible as the biological weapons in the film) given his reputation as a hardcore method and character actor.

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Linking of you

I thought the above title was a little sweeter than the other possibilities which included `Lets get linky' and `Ta-da: it's Batlink'. I'll be quiet now.

Anywho, like an 8-year-old with alcoholic parents who spend their wages on booze and whores, I've been storing these links under my mattress for a few months now. Mostly these are articles or features that interest me, fantastically written reviews, delish trailers and the odd website. Hopefully it will give you something to link about (oh snap!).

• South Park: You've probably been hearing all about their 200th episode, which tries to incorporate as many celebrity insults as possible. Oh, it succeeds. This link, however, is of the opening clip where the kids find Tom Cruise working in a factory as a fudge packer. Brilliant.
• The 25 Best Remakes Of All Time: Contrary to popular belief, not all remakes are the spawn of Satan. Okay, most are, but Moviefone have done a darn good job highlighting some of the worthy ones. I would have like to have seen Brothers on this list, yet perhaps it's too soon.
• Joss Whedon rules the universe: Come on, you know it's true! Disagree and I know some hardcore Whedonites who will happily destroy you're life and everyone you cherish whilst reciting Buffyverse. So, fresh off the spoof-inducing news the Buffy legend will direct and write Marvel's The Avengers movie comes the double revelation that he's rewriting and directing the Captain America too. Hooray! He's had plenty of involvement with Marvel over the years thanks to his work on the X-Men series and so forth, but it's good to see the studio showing some sense and handing this project over to a real fanboy.
• Fuck the Ash Cloud: It's what many people have been saying for the past few days, yet The Dresden Dolls front woman Amanda Palmer does it so much better. This clip is recorded from her Dublin gig last night, where she performed the volcanic love song she and fiance Neil Gaiman (yes, The Sandman and Coraline legend) wrote together via the interwebs. Why? Because the flight cancellations are keeping them apart and jeopardising their week-long holiday together. Awww.

• He-Man gets more, er, hardcore: It seems impossible, I know. Yet the lad over at FilmDrunk has put together the news in his usual urine-running-down-your-leg style. For those of you playing at home, it's hilarious. The article kicks off with my candidate for best headline of the year 'Writers of Predators Hired To Masturbate The Universe'.
• 11 totally impractical 80s toy vehicles: I don't know how the dudes at Topless Robot were able to track all these down, but I'm so glad they did. I love lists, especially kitschy brilliant ones like this. Prepare for epic LOL's once you reach the Justice Jogger.
• Stillness Is The Move: If it's possible to be cooler than Beyonce, her little sister Solange Knowles is certainly trying. And arguably succeeding. The radilicous lady did a cover of underground New York band the Dirty Projectors' song Stillness Is The Move. Depending on your musical inclination, I reckon the Erykah Badu-esque version of the song is better than the original. So shoot me, either way, it's a soundgasm.
• Shutter Island review: Yeah, yeah, I know Shutter Island was released like, five Kick-Ass' ago but this review over at Pajiba is so bloody well written, I had to share it with you.
• Testing the Mickey Rourke hypothesis: The blog spiderweb that is Uproxx compiled this excellent post that tests the Mickey Rourke hypothesis: everything is better with a bird on your shoulder. "Raw, Precious see food bird"
• Green Lantern's suit to be CG: Perhaps the most interesting superhero movie news of the past month, besides Whedon dominating that is. Slash Film revealed that Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern suit will be completely CG in the film adaptation of the comic. This piece is the most in-depth coverage of the news and explores the reasoning behind Academy Award-winning costume designer Ngila Dickson's decision. Not a huge Green Lantern fan myself, this is surprisingly interesting. And hey, as long as we get to see Reynolds abs at some point during the film, I'm happy.
• The future of film criticism: A.O Scott at The New York Times takes a look at the future of film criticism and whether there actually is one. Compulsory reading for all film buffs, established and aspiring movie gurus.
• X-Ladies '88: I know, it sounds like the title of a hardcore porn series. Rest assured, this is actually a little slice of genius from John Allison at A Hundred Dance Moves Per Minute. It's his quirky take on the X-Men ladies from 1988, the year I came into this world kicking, screaming and covered in blood. If I play my cards right, I may just leave that way too ;o)
• The 10 most intimidating athletes in the world: Look, I did say I like lists. Especially well-researched, clever ones like this. A little disappointing there's only one female on the list, I could certainly think of few to add *cough Hayley Bateup cough*. But it's fair enough, after all Serena does "hit the ball like it owes her money".
• Nic Cage as everyone: One of my favourite websites ever, this confirms my theory that everything is better with a lil Nic Cage. Especially Nic Cage as the uinverse (below).
• David Firth twitter: Well, what do you know! The creep McCreepy animator that is David Firth has a twitter account, which he is using to keep y'all updated on the progress of his debut animated feature. For those of you who haven't been exposed to his Lizzy Borden-esque brilliance, Firth is the man behind such YouTube series as Salad Fingers, Video Dating Tape and, my personal favourite, Valentine's Day Special. He also has a website where you can view his work and so forth.
• Operator Please cover Blondie: Before you say this is shameless self-promotion, I figure that since it's not technically myself I'm promoting, it doesn't count. My friends band Operator Please have been kicking some major music balls since their debut album Yes, Yes Vindictive. Even that douche Perez Hilton has been gushing over them. Anyway, they have been hectically promoting their follow-up Gloves (which is out this Thursday) and appeared on Triple J's Like A Version last Friday where they covered Blondie's Heart Of Glass. Amandah nailed the vocals and you can listen to the entire Gloves album for free at their MySpace. FYI it rocks, namely Catapult and Back & Forth.
• Trailer trash: Two new trailers have caught my attention lately, one because it looks awesome and the other because it looks shit (with a capital TURD). One of my favourite comics ever (comic? graphic novel? mang-ic?), Byran Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim series is hitting the big screen and the teaser trailer looks like the film may live up to its tagline "An epic of epic epicness". As long as there's plenty of Wallace in the film, I'll be ecstatic. The crapolla one is called Paper Man and stars Jeff Daniels, Emma Stone, Lisa Kudrow and Ryan Reynolds. The trailer really goes for every cliche indie heartstring it can get its hands on and I can already see a legion of fucktards updating their Facebook movies to include this `emotional and socially conscious' film in their favourites list. I bet Hipster Kitty would really be in to it too.
• Australian Tragic: Walkley award-winning Australian journalist Jack Marx's latest book is fascinating and devastating at the same. I'm half way through it at the moment, but I have to keep breaking it up with graphic novels because essentially it's a collection of uber depressing Australian tragedies that he has dug out of the archives. This feature on News.com.au sums up some of the most interesting tales from the book, but be warned: eeriness ensues.
• Nine badass hybrid monsters: You know, if lists were human I would totally cut off a lock of their hair and stay inside all day sniffing it. I love them THAT much. This list is up there, way up there as it creates a nine badass hybrid monsters that deserve their own sci-fi movie. Darn right they do, especially the Pigeonshark and the Bearshaktipus below (cue terrified screams).

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