Pretty In Link: Part I

This is something I haven’t done for a while, but don’t worry, I’ve been storing up some of the funniest, cleverest, juiciest and generally rad links on the net just for you. Some are movie related, many comic related and others art related, but my passions aside . . .some are just fantastic. There are so many links I’ve broken it up into two editions so if you’re an internet voyeur like me, then I hope you enjoy these.

30 Random Movie Titles To Which `That’s What She Said’ Would Be An Appropriate Rejoinder: This really doesn’t need any more explanation. Once again, the guys at Pajiba have outdone themselves. http://www.pajiba.com/seriously_random_lists/30-random-movie-titles-to-which-thats-what-she-said-would-be-an-appropriate-rejoinder.php

Slinky: The Movie: “It’s a rubber coil.” I never get sick of this. Ever. I rewatch it about once a week and it’s endlessly hilarious because, well, every week brings more freakin’ ridiculous movie projects backed by huge studios based on pre-existing products that sure, may have been popular, but do not make the basis for a film. There has never been a better example of this than the trailer for Hugh Jackman’s Reel Steel. Alternatively, watch this animated conversation between a screenwriter and a Hollywood executive about Slinky: The Movie. Hi-bloody-larious. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/pitch-for-slinky-the-movie/#

If Rappers Were Marvel Comic Characters: As both a hip hop and Marvel comic fan, this is gold. http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2011/02/if-rappers-were-marvel-comics-characters#page/16

Photos from the 2010 National Geographic Photography Contest: They’re responsible for capturing and publishing some of the most amazing photos. Period. These finalist images are no exception and freeze some of 2010’s incredible moments in time. http://nedhardy.com/2010/11/22/47-incredibly-amazing-photographs-from-the-2010-national-geographic-photography-contest/

Russel Crowe Preparing For A Roll: Filmdrunk in and of itself gets a link of its own, but this particular post is one of Vince Mancini’s best. I dare you not to gut laugh, I dare ya. http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/03/russell-crowe-is-preparing-for-a-roll

Pics, Pics, Pics: Comics Alliance have a weekly segment where they trawl file sharing site like deviantART and Tumblr for the best new fan made (often geek orientated) art. Here’s the best three weeks of the past few months. http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/25/best-art-ever-this-week-03-25-11/ http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/02/18/best-movie-art-ever-this-week-zombie-steve-urkel-ewoks-vs-care-bears/ http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/02/11/best-movie-art-ever-this-week/

Scream 4: Warning: This link is to an extremely violent image from Scream 4. If you don’t care, then click and enjoy deciphering just what the ill-fated victims favourite scary movie was. http://www.movieline.com/2011/03/see-an-incredibly-violent-image-from-scream-4.php

50 Of The Internet’s Greatest Missing Posters: I have no idea where people find this shit, but I’m sure grateful they do. http://www.uproxx.com/feature/2011/03/lost-and-found-50-of-the-internets-greatest-missing-posters/#page/4

Superhero Where’s Wally: Awesome. http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/09/superhero-wheres-waldo-ulises-farinas/

Joss Whedon Responds: Like a Buffy remake without Joss Whedon wasn’t blasphemous enough, now they’ve hired some 28-year-old extra to write the screenplay. While Buffy fans everywhere were raging over this latest development, Whedon – being the preverbal genius that he is – responded with this hilarious and incredibly witty response. Yeah, like we didn’t love you enough already J-Wheds. http://au.eonline.com/uberblog/detail.jsp?contentId=212644

DC Fan Posters: More fan art, this time French deviantART user Herobaka gives us some flashy and frankly fabulous DC superhero pin-ups. http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/01/13/herobaka-dc-fan-posters-gallery/

Inception In Real Time: Thank God there are nerds out there who can make layered clips like this and post them on You Tube for all of us to view. It’s a mind-bogglingly cool look at the different time settings within Inception. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHBlYJ-tKcs&feature=player_embedded

The 10 Most Absurd Lyrics From Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday: The album has been out for a while now and I had high hopes for it. Her mixtape was pretty good, but it’s her guest spots on tracks for everyone from Kanye West to Mariah Carey that had me thinking Nicki Minaj was one of the most exciting and unpredictable female MC’s in the game. Turns out, her debut album proves she’s just like very other `meh’ pop star. Hip hop blog The Smoking Section put together this hilarious and, as they called it, absurd slideshow featuring the most lazy and ridiculous lyrics from the album. An amusing analysis. http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2010/11/barbie-recall-the-10-most-absurd-lyrics-from-nicki-minajs-pink-friday

Dilbert Is Sexist: Scott Adams, it turns out, is a massive douche. http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/25/scott-adam-sexist-mens-rights/

How Bane Will Fit Into The Dark Knight Rises: While the interwebs is still alight with debate, rumour, speculation about who Joseph Gordon Levitt will play, whether Marion Cotillard will be Tahlia Al Ghul and so on and so on . . .at least we have the assurance of two new characters: Selina Kyle/Catwoman and Bane. For me, I think Bane is the more interesting of the two because he’s a rarely explored characters and this exploration from Screen Rant looks at a few of the storyline possiblities. It’s all speculation at this stage, but it’s still an interesting read. http://screenrant.com/batman-dark-knight-rises-bane-robf-97315/all/1/ Stay tuned for Part 2 . . .

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And so, the Eclipse begins . . .

With the latest instalment in The Twilight Saga released in cinemas worldwide this evening, I've been having an absolute ball reading all of the stories and content out there about crazy fans. Therefore, it only seems appropriate that I too bring you a Twihard story to sink your teeth into. Sorry, that was a lame vampire joke and I promise not to make any more (note: this is a lie).

Anywho, I hunted these gals down myself so I hope you enjoy the story. Stay posted for my Eclipse review tomorrow and for my Top 4 Twihard stories click on the links at the bottom of this post.

It was love at first bite when Edyn Mackney (pictured on the right, above, with here sister Grace) first read Stephenie Meyer's vampire romance novels, The Twilight Saga, in 2006. Now the 14-year-old estimates she has read the series of four books at least 10 times, seen the first two films 20 times, spent hundreds of dollars on Twilight memorabilia and even got her younger sister hooked on the series.
"I love it tons,'' she said.
"My friends think the series is cool too and they love my room, but they think I'm a bit obsessed with it.
"You really relate to the books and fall in love with the love story between Edward and Bella.
"I don't think I will ever get over it because you can always re-read the books and watch the movies again.
"As soon as the movie comes out you become even more obsessed with it.''

Her obsession will reach fever-pitch tonight when the third film, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, is released in cinemas worldwide. Edyn said for Twihards, the nickname given to hardcore Twilight fans, the film is the most anticipated event of the year.
"Eclipse and Breaking Dawn are the films that everyone is looking forward to,'' she said.
"Eclipse is probably my favourite book because of the big fight scene at the end, Edward comes back and there's the competition for who's going to be with Bella.
"When I saw the trailer at the cinemas for the first time I freaked out, I grabbed my mum's leg and my heart was racing.''

Mother Janine Mackney said Edyn and Grace, 10, have turned their bedrooms into a `Twilight shrine', complete with posters, calendars, T-shirts, CDs, companion guides and Robert Pattinson books.
"If she could turn into a vampire she would,'' she said.
"But Edyn is a mature girl, she doesn't carry a vial of blood around like some crazy fans.
"Her obsession is with the whole series, Stephenie Meyer's writing and the romantic storyline.
"I think my biggest crush growing up was George Michael, and look how that turned out, but I understand their obsession with this.''
"I read the books too and think they're really cool.''

Mrs Mackney said after attending the midnight screenings of the previous two films, they had purchased tickets to see Eclipse in Gold Class so they `didn't have to deal with people screaming with excitement' throughout the movie. Event Cinemas and Birch Carroll and Coyle spokeswoman Belinda Kite said movie sessions have already been selling out across the Australia, up to a month before the film’s release.
"There have been great ticket sales already and thousands have pre-purchased to see the film,'' she said.
"Eclipse already has the hype and anticipation that New Moon seemed to have last November.
"I think sometimes when the movie makers get a combination of the right elements with actors, directors, writers and cinematography, people get behind the films and follow their journey going to the cinema, buying the DVDs and memorabilia.''

As a self-confessed `movie buff' Ms Kite said it is exciting to see people from a wide demographic getting enthusiastic about a film franchise.
"I love to hear people get excited about the characters and the storyline,'' she said.
"People like to be entertained and if they enjoy something, it's great to hear people share their experiences.
"Who knows whether it will stand the test of time like the Star Wars series, but we can only wait until Breaking Dawn comes and see how The Twilight Saga continues in peoples' lives.''

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opens in worldwide tonight at 12.01am.

Movie Mazzupial's Top 4 Twihard Stories *insert Kanye here* OF ALL TIME!

1. Crazy Twilight lady makes everbody sad (at Film Drunk)
2. Twilight premiere spawns tent city - `Lonesome Town' (at Film Drunk)
3. When Twilight fandom becomes an addiction (at Los Angeles Times)
4. Top 10 batshit insane Twilight fan moments (at Ranker)

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Sex and the City 2 review

Two years after the first Sex and the City movie, based on the popular television series, comes the creatively titled Sex and the City 2: a film just as unnecessary as the first. While it does provide the legions of Jimmy Choo-wearing fans with everything they could want - fashion, shopping, Samantha sex jokes and more fashion - it does little to add to the territory explored in the TV series.

The sequel picks up two years after the first film, with the women struggling to deal with the various `stresses' in their lives. Charlotte (Kristin Davis), despite the help of a full-time nanny, is finding the demands of motherhood challenging, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) is having trouble juggling her job as a lawyer and her responsibilities as a mother, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is terrified she and Mr. Big (Chris Noth) are becoming an old, married couple and Samantha (Kim Cattrall), as the only single member of the group, is struggling to keep her sex drive alive at 52. To escape from their problems the ladies jet-off to Abu Dhabi on a luxury vacation where Carrie runs into a former flame and, in a vaguely offensive plot turn, they find their style and attitudes clash with the Muslim society.

Sex and the City 2 is at least an hour too long and the running time of almost two and a half hours will leave even hardcore followers of the series itching for the end credits. We really didn't need to see every room of their hotel suite, every furniture item in their NYC homes or the plethora of slo-mo shots of outfit after outfit. Yes, I get it, a large part of it is about the clothes, but there was always a balance of substance and style in the TV series. Some audiences might also find it hard to relate to four, upper-class white women whose greatest problems are wearing the same ridiculously overpriced dress as Miley Cyrus to a premiere or the possibility of having to fly coach. The horror! Did I mention it's girly? So sickeningly girly I'm at the point where if I hear the word `sparkle' or another freakin wind-chime effect when something `magical' happens, I'm going to put Sarah Jessica Parker down like the Afghan dog she so closely resembles (exhibit A).

There was at least some point to the first film as it existed to tie up all the loose ends of the series and it did have some groundbreaking sex scenes shown from a female perspective (for once). But the franchise has become like the female equivalent of the James Bond series: it's all about the clothes, the glamour, the tongue-in-cheek named characters, the sex and the same staple of fans will trot along to see it regardless.

Instead of progressing into the new aspects of their lives, the main characters have become the Barbie dolls of gay men as they try to revive the glory days when they were much younger, much sassier and much more interesting. But unfortunately these women stopped representing Sex and the City about six years ago. Now they are more like Menopause in the Desert.

Sex and the City 2 opens in cinemas on Thursday, but in the meantime Filmdrunk (my favourite website in all the land) pointed me to this delicious and far superior review of the film here. Check it out or perish.

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Fang off

Oh. My. Gawd.

Its only been out for 6 hours and I'm already sick to death of hearing about The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to actually be alive and old enough to experience a full-blown movie phenomenon as I missed the boat with Star Wars and Indiana Jones. At least I understood the frenzy behind The Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter movies and didn't want to light myself on fire every time it came on the news. But this . . . this has got even the most hardcore fan inside of me screaming "that's freakin' enough Twihards, settle the frak down!"

Sigh. At least the guys over at Film Drunk feel my pain and have put together a brilliant piece on the absurdness of Twilight fans and their signs at the New Moon premiere. I strongly recommend you read the whole thing in its entirety here. Otherwise, the best bits are below:

"I’m only picking a few of my favorites, but clearly this represented a cross section of America’s finest. Like this guy. He likes America, sleeveless shirts, and vampires that sparkle. I think that was a Bob Seger song. Or this girl, the one behind the girl in the front. She wants to be “a stupid lamb.” Or possibly a stupid lamp, it isn’t entirely clear. Regardless, it’s good to have ambitions. Then there’s these girls,who support the Cullen diet, while standing behind a lady who doesn’t seem to support any diets. Diversity is beautiful. Meanwhile, the girl in the front right is enjoying her one day of the month outside. Anyway, I just thought you guys should enjoy some of these photos, because a lot of good cats went hungry for this."

Well said.

In other vampire news, the poster art for Daybreakers hit the net today and it looks siiiiiiick.

And how's the quote from Variety; "Take The Matrix and 28 Days Later and you've got Daybreakers". That's a bloody brilliant line about the film and the poster art looks very slick. Very awesome. Very promising and hopefully a far cry from the romantic notion of vampires, I want to see more bloodsuckers darn it. Daybreakers is an Australian film shot in Queensland earlier this year on a budget of $25 million and stars Ethan Hawke, William Dafoe, Isabel Lucas and Sam Neil. Set in the not too distant future (2019 to be exact), a plague has turned most humans in to vampires who are now faced with a dwindling blood supply. Shot by the Spierig Brothers, I really hope this is a successful attempt by them to cross over in to Hollywood mainstream. If the trailer is anything to go by . . .

Daybreakers is out January 21.

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I don't brag I mostly Host

Unbeknownst to any female under the age of 16, the author of the Twilight series Stephenie Meyer has this other book called The Host. That too is getting a big screen adaptation now the fan following of the Twilight movie series has reached pandemic proportions. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, Meyer’s work is spreading faster than herpes but the difference between The Host and the teenage vampire romance plague is it's actually good.

Her first book targeted at adults, The Host contains none of the `I’m so mature for my age, nobody understands me’ mantra, rather a whole bunch of sci-fi awesomeness instead. The book is a lot darker than her previous works and having read the novel myself, I’m pleased to say this is an original piece of writing and Meyer convincingly creates a violent, apocalyptic world that you get lost in. Problem is, the book is so complex and much of the story so internal you can pretty much bet on the fact they’re going to stuff the movie up. Variety, who were the first to pounce on the story, describe the plot as follows:

"Meyer’s novel is a love story set in the near future on Earth, which has been assimilated by an alien species that call themselves “Souls.” They are benevolent parasites that subsume the conscious of humans and take possession of their bodies. One such soul, The Wanderer (so named because she has wandered among so many different worlds) is fused with a dying human named Melanie Stryder, in an attempt to locate the last pocket of surviving humans on Earth. The Wanderer cannot subsume the forceful Melanie, and they battle for the girl’s memories and her spirit."

It’s actually a lot more badass than that but I couldn’t be bothered breaking down the story for you myself as I don’t have a spare eight months. Film Drunk did a much better job at summing up the plot and had this to say;

"Hmm, I think using your surviving brain cells to refuse assimilation into an invading horde of boring parasites might be a metaphor for growing up Mormon."

For those who vomit a little in their mouth every time they see a douche wearing a Team Edward shirt, the good news is most of the characters in The Host are older and more complex than in the Twilight series. In even better news, the team set to bring the novel to the big screen are pretty darn wicked.

At the fore are producers Nick Wechsler, Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz who used their own money to acquire the screen rights and will develop the project independently. More importantly, New Zealand filmmaker Andrew Niccol is onboard to write and direct the flick which is a big comfort for those concerned they might try and turn this into a juvenile, adventure, love-story targeted at Twihards*. Niccol was nominated for an Oscar back in ’99 for his work writing The Truman Show and he has also made Lord Of War, The Terminal, S1m0ne and Gattaca. Of course Meyer has to have her finger in every pie and she’s “heavily” involved with the project. There’s been no news about casting or release dates yet and The Host hasn’t even been added as a project to imbd it’s THAT fresh.

Stay posted for more updates and constant grillings of Twihards.

*Twihards: first coined by Movie Mazzupial in November ’08, the term is used to describe semi- hardcore Twilight fans.

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