Well, in actual fact a sparkly turd would be more appealing than myself on camera but since Mr Hanky had a prior engagement, here is my online video review of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.
To balance it out, there’s nothing like a bit of Alucard mayhem:
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is the third instalment in the uber-popular teen vampire romance franchise based on the series of novels by Stephenie Meyer. It picks up where New Moon left off, with Bella (played by Kristen Stewart and her hair) preparing for high school graduation and struggling to balance her relationship with the vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and her friendship with werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). As Bella starts to make preparations for her transformation into an immortal, the Cullen’s and the neighbouring werewolf pack are forced to work together to defeat a new threat linked to a string of mysterious killings in Seattle.
From Catherine Hardwicke’s severely under budget, yet insightful, direction of the first film, to Christ Weitz’s melodramatic and lush take on the second, director David Slade has trumped both of his predecessors with Eclipse. The British filmmaker comes from a background in complex horror thrillers and he is the first to give The Twilight Saga some much-needed teeth. Central to the series are the slow, soppy scenes where the characters profess their undying love for each other and Twihards will be pleased to know there are still plenty of those. But scattered amongst them are pockets of action which have Slade’s stylish stamp all over them. You will still be hard-pressed to raise an eyebrow, let alone goose bump, in the `scary’ scenes, but from the suspenseful opening chase through the rain-drenched streets of Seattle with Aussie newcomer Xavier Samuel, Slade takes it up a notch.
Even in the mundane moments, which occur too often, he spices things up with an interesting camera angle or cleverly laid out set. The birds-eye panning shot of Bella as she leaves her house in the first act and the graduation scene are classic examples. Despite the focus being on the Edward, Bella and Jacob sandwich, the audience are also given the back stories of central characters such as Rosalie (Nikki Reed), Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) and the wolf pack, which are executed perfectly in stylish flashbacks and give the story depth.
The dialogue is slightly less sickening, thanks to some refreshingly realistic scenes between Bella and her dad, Charlie (Billy Burke), banter between Edward and Jacob and a few splashes of humour throughout. Stewart and Burke once again prove to be the most formidable acting talents in the cast, however, Rathbone, Reed, Anna Kendrick, Dakota Fanning, Samuel and Pattinson also put in decent performances. Lautner, however, is once again out-acted by his biceps and his constant shirtlessness even causes Edward to ask “doesn’t he ever where a shirt?” But of course, a clothed Jacob decreases the films total gross by a few hundred million, so the producers also throw an almost-naked scene in there too. You know, just to whip up a blood-in-the-water-esque frenzy amongst the shark pool of Twihards.
Unfortunately some clever directing tricks and an overall smoother film can not elevate The Twilight Saga: Eclipse from the whingey teen romance rut it seems to be stuck in. What could be expressed in a three or four slower scenes is dragged out across a dozen dialogue-heavy moments that are essentially about the same thing, yet set in a field of flowers or on snow-capped mountain. The third instalment in The Twilight Saga will seem like a high-budget episode of Neighbours to most, but it is likely to give fans of the series a total Eclipse of the heart.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is currently screening. Standby for up and coming online video review of the film.
With the latest instalment in The Twilight Saga released in cinemas worldwide this evening, I've been having an absolute ball reading all of the stories and content out there about crazy fans. Therefore, it only seems appropriate that I too bring you a Twihard story to sink your teeth into. Sorry, that was a lame vampire joke and I promise not to make any more (note: this is a lie).
Anywho, I hunted these gals down myself so I hope you enjoy the story. Stay posted for my Eclipse review tomorrow and for my Top 4 Twihard stories click on the links at the bottom of this post.
It was love at first bite when Edyn Mackney (pictured on the right, above, with here sister Grace) first read Stephenie Meyer's vampire romance novels, The Twilight Saga, in 2006. Now the 14-year-old estimates she has read the series of four books at least 10 times, seen the first two films 20 times, spent hundreds of dollars on Twilight memorabilia and even got her younger sister hooked on the series.
"I love it tons,'' she said.
"My friends think the series is cool too and they love my room, but they think I'm a bit obsessed with it.
"You really relate to the books and fall in love with the love story between Edward and Bella.
"I don't think I will ever get over it because you can always re-read the books and watch the movies again.
"As soon as the movie comes out you become even more obsessed with it.''
Her obsession will reach fever-pitch tonight when the third film, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, is released in cinemas worldwide. Edyn said for Twihards, the nickname given to hardcore Twilight fans, the film is the most anticipated event of the year.
"Eclipse and Breaking Dawn are the films that everyone is looking forward to,'' she said.
"Eclipse is probably my favourite book because of the big fight scene at the end, Edward comes back and there's the competition for who's going to be with Bella.
"When I saw the trailer at the cinemas for the first time I freaked out, I grabbed my mum's leg and my heart was racing.''
Mother Janine Mackney said Edyn and Grace, 10, have turned their bedrooms into a `Twilight shrine', complete with posters, calendars, T-shirts, CDs, companion guides and Robert Pattinson books.
"If she could turn into a vampire she would,'' she said.
"But Edyn is a mature girl, she doesn't carry a vial of blood around like some crazy fans.
"Her obsession is with the whole series, Stephenie Meyer's writing and the romantic storyline.
"I think my biggest crush growing up was George Michael, and look how that turned out, but I understand their obsession with this.''
"I read the books too and think they're really cool.''
Mrs Mackney said after attending the midnight screenings of the previous two films, they had purchased tickets to see Eclipse in Gold Class so they `didn't have to deal with people screaming with excitement' throughout the movie. Event Cinemas and Birch Carroll and Coyle spokeswoman Belinda Kite said movie sessions have already been selling out across the Australia, up to a month before the film’s release.
"There have been great ticket sales already and thousands have pre-purchased to see the film,'' she said.
"Eclipse already has the hype and anticipation that New Moon seemed to have last November.
"I think sometimes when the movie makers get a combination of the right elements with actors, directors, writers and cinematography, people get behind the films and follow their journey going to the cinema, buying the DVDs and memorabilia.''
As a self-confessed `movie buff' Ms Kite said it is exciting to see people from a wide demographic getting enthusiastic about a film franchise.
"I love to hear people get excited about the characters and the storyline,'' she said.
"People like to be entertained and if they enjoy something, it's great to hear people share their experiences.
"Who knows whether it will stand the test of time like the Star Wars series, but we can only wait until Breaking Dawn comes and see how The Twilight Saga continues in peoples' lives.''
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opens in worldwide tonight at 12.01am.
Movie Mazzupial's Top 4 Twihard Stories *insert Kanye here* OF ALL TIME!
SEE! SEEEEE! Didn’t I tell you he would make it awesome!?! Yes, pretty sure I raved about director David Slade’s potential to up the anty of The Twilight Saga here and in my exclusive interview with the Volturi members here. The second, slightly closer to full length The Twilight Saga: Eclipse trailer went viral today and it has left me with a smug grin on my face. Despite what I thought after seeing the first two films, this is the first trailer in the series that doesn’t look shit. It looks downright meaty! That’s what happens when you take a master of mood and darkness who has experience with the complex nature of teenagers (hello there Hard Candy) and made one of the best films of the past decade (30 Days Of Night).
Although my least favourite of the four books, you’ve got to say Slade’s handling of the Eclipse will mop the floors with it’s two predecessors. A huge supporter of Catherine Hardwicke, who did the original film, and a moderate hater of Chris Weitz, who did the second, the series looks like it will continue the pattern of improving with each film. Without having seen the full version, from the trailer we can deduce Slade has cut down on the tortured staring and supplemented it action scenes that would make even sci-fi and horror fans battle the throng of Twihards to see it.
This trailer combined with the awesome news that Kinsey and Dreamgirls helmer Bill Condon is directing the fourth and final film (films?), sets the scene for The Twilight Saga to go out with a bang.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is released July 1 in Australia and June 30 everywhere else, and ticket sales have already been going ape-shit at my local cinemas for people heading along to the back-to-back Twilight marathon. Cra-zzzy.
Yeah, the title pretty much says it all. With The Twilight Saga: New Moon release date just around the corner, a bunch of supporting cast members from the movie are touring Australia for a series of Twilight conventions. With one being held in Brisbane today, I had the opportunity to catch up with three lads from the Volturi who, as I’m sure all you Twihards know, play a significant role in the remaining films. Because I’m awesome and love you muchly, I have posted the full interview transcript below so you can marvel at the all-round niceness of Charlie Bewley, Cameron Bright and Christopher Heyerdahl who play integral members in the vampire equivalent of the royal family. 
(Above: Christopher Heyerdahl as Marcus)
First up let me give you a bit of background info on the actors; Christopher is a veteran Canadian actor who has had a career spanning more than 24-years including roles in Stragate: Atlantis, Supernatural and Smallville. His latest role sees him as Marcus, one of the three most powerful leading members of the Volturi alongside Aro and Causis. He has the ability to sense relationships, and the ties that bind people together. 
(Above: Charlie Bewley is Demetri)
Next is Londoner Charlie Bewley, who has literally been plucked from obscurity for the role of Demetri, another powerful member of the Volturi who is a “tracker”. For his first acting job, 28-year-old Bewley has moved to Canada where he will shoot the remaining two films in the saga. 
(Above: Cameron Bright as Alec)
Finally, we have my tip as `one to watch’, 16-year-old Canadian actor Cameron Bright. Look familiar? That’s because he has already had several major film roles, including that particularly creepy part as a 10-year-old boy who claims to be a reincarnation of deceased dude in Birth. Yeah, he’s THAT kid who shared a bath with Nicole Kidman. He has also starred in Godsend, Thank You For Smoking and X-Men: The Last Stand. In The Twilight Saga: New Moon Bright plays Alec, the twin brother to Dakota Fanning’s character Jane, and has the ability to cloud senses, rendering the opponent blind.
Great, well, now that you have a bit of background on all the actors, I hope you enjoy the interview. I certainly had a blast chatting to the fella’s as they really are a ridiculously nice bunch. As well as shedding some insight as to why they think Twilight is such a phenomenon, they also dished some juicy details on The Twilight Saga: Eclipse which is currently shooting and what director David Slade is bringing to the third film. Oh, and they love my neck of the woods so extra brownie-points for them. Enjoy.
Movie Mazzupial: Hi everyone, it’s great to have a talk to you all. Sorry I sound a little bit like a transvestite, I unfortunately lost my voice this morning.
Charlie: (Laughs) A transvestite?
MM: Yes, I’m sounding a little masculine so you will just have to-
Christopher: - wait, are you woman?
Cameron: A woman or man?
MM: No, I’m a woman. You don’t find too many men called Maria
Christopher: Well, I have a few friends called Maria but that’s alright love, I’m just teasing you.
MM: (Laughs) Okay, to start off is this everyone’s first time in Australia:
Christopher: First time being interviewed by a transvestite.
MM: Well, I’d be a little concerned if it was your second, but sure.
Christopher: (Laughs).
Charlie: My third or fourth.
Cameron: It’s my first time being here.
MM: How are you all finding Brisbane so far?
Christopher: Magnificent, everyone’s being incredibly friendly and it sounds like such a cliché, but it’s true. Nothing has been a problem, everyone’s been generous, its been grande. Gorgeous
MM: That’s great to hear, I’m glad everything has been going well so far. So how has the tour been going, I understand you’ve been to a few spots in Australia already?
Charlie: Yeah, we went to the zoo today, held some snakes, patted an elephant-
Cameron: -saw a bunch of creepy stuff.
Charlie: (To Cameron) Didn’t you get pooed on by a koala?
Cameron: (Laughs) No, yeah (laughs).
Charlie: We went back to the living.
Cameron: (Laughs)
MM: So, what have the fan reactions been like at some of the other conventions that you’ve done?
Cameron: So far I haven’t done, like, a Twilight specific convention. I’ve done some autograph signings with Chris and Alex Meraz in Chicago, I think three or four months ago. For the movie not being out yet I wasn’t thinking much of it. But the turn out was amazing. For me not being in . . .for the movie not even coming out yet I was totally blown away and it really wasn’t anything I expected, in a good way, not in a bad way. So I’m just waiting and anticipating the next one to see what’s going to happen.
MM: Great. So you three are all Volturi, what’s it like being the badasses of the Twilight vampire world?
Charlie: It’s good, we really are. It’s cool because we have immense power, we float around, we mess with your minds, we cause you pain if you disobey the rules which we lay down.
Christopher: And I keep them all under control (laughs).
MM: Well, that’s good to hear someone’s doing it.
Christopher: They’re really difficult these young lads.
MM: (Laughs) What was it like making the film, especially with so much hype and expectation surrounding it?
Christopher: It was great fun, that’s the wonderful thing about being inside a studio. Certainly the majority of the Volturi scenes for New Moon were done inside a studio and in there you enter a cloistered, inner-sanctum where we’re protected on all sides. So all the pandemonium that happens outside bounces off this protective wall of the studio, so it was really easy to just do the work. But as soon as we left the studio and went outside to restaurants or hotels, what have you, the pandemonium was definitely there.
MM: What were some of the difficulties playing the role? I mean, all of your characters are essentially pretty evil, was that too hard to get into?
Charlie: I don’t know, it was fairly hard. The biggest trouble I found with my character was just his complete desire to want to let it rip, you know? You are bestowed with these powers of speed and strength and, you know, Demetri has a talent for tracking as well. I found I had to contain myself during the scenes and not just completely defy the script, whip around and go round ripping people’s heads off.
Christopher: (Laughs) I had no idea that was going on in your head, that’s amazing. You scare me now (laughs).
MM: Since all three of you are pretty involved in the movie, what’s it like being part of arguable the biggest movie phenomenon at the moment?
Cameron: Amazing. Right now, from my point of view, it’s one of those rollercoaster’s I was lucky enough to get onboard and I just have to take it for a ride, you know.
MM: How do you explain the frenzy that Twilight creates among fans?
Christopher: I think the main thing of the frenzy for these fans is it’s a literary frenzy. So many thing are based on a visual, film-like element, and being able to see things go down, whereas this is purely based on millions of people’s individual imaginations. When people read the book it becomes their own, it’s their own imagination that brings it to life. Stephenie’s been able to tap into the psyches’ of countless millions and everyone feels that it is their personal story. The passion for that kind of literary imagination is amazing, so that’s what separates it from so many other film phenomena.
MM: Right, well on that note then; how do you think audiences are going to react to the New Moon film?
Charlie: I think it differs from Twilight for a few different reasons. But I think the main reason is this film you can take your whole family to watch and everyone is going to take something out of it. Whereas the first film was a bit of an emotional play between three characters, this one has a lot of action. Chris Weitz is an excellent CGI expert and is obviously very good at directing high-action movies like in the past. This one is, like I said, you can take anyone to this one, it’s got something for everyone. The stakes are up, which is different from the first one as well so it’s going to be an exciting film.
Cameron: Yeah, for this one another part of it that’s really good for people is the last one was really about those three main people, Bella, Edward and Jacob. And now you’re getting so much more. You’re getting the wolf pack introduced, us, the Volturi, introduced and there’s just a lot more elements to it to make it a deeper story.
MM: Eclipse is currently shooting at the moment, what can you tell us about the next installment?
Charlie: I think Eclipse is a darker film, David Slade is a master of mood in a film. He’s done a couple of big, big Hollywood films which have gone down very well, especially that vampire one 30 Days Of Night.
MM: Yeah, that’s one of my favorites’.
Charlie: And there’s Hard Candy which is brutal, it’s a fantastic film. I think it’s going to be a very brutal film with a lot of fighting and it’s really going to capture the whole viciousness of what a vampire is.
MM: Finally, how are you guys enjoying Brisbane and are you looking forward to the convention? I understand there’s quite a few people heading up there for it.
Christopher: Brisbane is a gorgeous city, it’s amazing to walk off the plane and smell the smells and see the sites. The people are incredibly friendly and we even went down for a wonderful walk by the river and a swim in the pool down there. It’s absolutely gorgeous, never-ending beauty.
MM: Are you excited about the convention tomorrow?
Christopher: Absolutely, that’s why we’re here.
Cameron: Yeah.
Charlie: It’s going to be fantastic.
MM: Great, well you guys will have to come down to the Gold Coast next time you’re around.
Charlie: I’d love to, my friend actually writes for a surf mag on the Gold Coast. I think it’s Surfing Life .com or something.
MM: Ooo, Surfing Life is, like, the pinnacle of surfing mags so that’s impressive.
Charlie: If you ever bump into him at a bar say `hi’.
MM: (Laughs) Ok, well, I’ll keep an eye out.
All: (Laughs).
MM: Thanks a lot for the chat, I appreciate it and have fun in Australia.
Christopher: Thanks Maria, it was great talking to you.
Charlie: Thanks, see you.
Cameron: Bye.
There’s another Twilight Tour convention on in Sydney tomorrow, and cast members will be taking questions at the Armageddon Expo in Melbourne next weekend. For more details check out the website here.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon is out November 19.
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