You win some, you lose some

Although it is adapted from a cult series from DC Comics, The Losers is not your run of the mill comic-book movie. There are no capes here, no kid-friendly content and you can hardly see an action figure being made out of the films heavily tattooed, machine gun-totting heroine. Thankfully, this makes it all the more appealing.

Led by their Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Roque (Idris Elba), Jensen (Chris Evans), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Óscar Jaenada) make up the Losers: a CIA black ops team (above). They are the Spice Girls of action movies, each with their own unique personality and character twerks. After being betrayed and left for dead in the jungles of Bolivia, the Losers team up with the mysterious Aisha (Zoe Saldana) who helps them seek out Max (Jason Patric), an evil mastermind who targeted them for assassination.

With its promise of sufficiently quirky bad-asses, stylish violence and adult humour stemming from the original comic series, I wanted so badly to like The Losers. Yet something about it feels hollow, which is ridiculously frustrating because there is potential here for a great action movie. Instead, The Losers just ends up being moderately entertaining.
There are some beautifully stylish action sequences in the film that point to its comic book origins and the accompanying soundtrack features the best use of a Journey song since Glee. The performances too are all excellent, with Saldana ditching the blue CGI in favour of some tatts and a facial piercing (above) and JDM proving his charismatic turn as an action-lead in Watchmen wasn't a one off. Surprisingly though, it's Chris Evans (aka the human torch from the Fantastic Four series) who really stands out. He steals the show as the Losers quick-witted and somewhat daggy tech expert, with his delivery of some of the best lines in the film receiving applause from the audience in the screening I attended. Pooch, the team’s “Black MacGuyver” or “Blagyver” is also particularly entertaining. Oh, and did I mention the sex on a stick that is Cougar (below)? Move over my Mark Wahlberg obsession, because now I have a fictional character to fall in love (why should the Twihards have all the fun*?). Jaenada’s turn as Cougar is so incredibly sexy, it had me and several other ladies in the audience omitting a little squeal every time he came on scream.
But where the film falls down is, despite moments of unpredictability, the generic plotting and villain, who is like a left over Bond bad guy. Sure, he has some okay moments (particularly his delivery of “It's like giving a handgun to a six-year-old, Wade - you don't know how it's gonna end, but you're pretty sure it's gonna make the papers”) but essentially he is your typical `evil' bent on destroying the world and starting a war, despite a lack of clear motivation or vendetta. The plot turns you can see coming a mile off and the final action scenes verge on boring, a flaw that could have been cured if they let the actors spend less time in slo-mo with machine guns and more time in combat or scurrying along rough tops. If not for films humour and style, The Losers is worth seeing just so you can get to know the well-acted, multi-dimensional characters and witness the family dynamic created between them. This will lead action fans to overlook its many flaws and the open-ended conclusion leaves room for what will hopefully be a superior sequel.

A sequel I'm cautiously optimistic for. Okay, okay I just want to see Cougar all sweaty and Spanish again.


*Fun: in relation to `Twihard fun’ I mean staying at home on a Saturday night and making out with your cat. You know they all do it.

While we’re on the subject of The Losers, now is as good a time as any to gush over the poster art accompanying the movie. While the Kick-Ass poster is still my favourite of the year so far, these variations are coming dangerously close to the top spot. My only criticism is that there are so many, audiences don’t have the opportunity to be exposed to them all…which is the artsy fun of it, like The Dark Knight. The first is a real-life depiction of the comic cover, so it’s doubly clever as an eye-catching promo and a nod to fans of the series.

The second takes a more pop-art, Reservoir Dogs approach, but is just as effective.And finally, I always dig a cast breakdown and this series of posters does that, while capturing the personalities of the characters in suitably action-packed poses.
The Losers opens Thursday.