Shameless product placement 101
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
At the moment I'm off work sick while the crazy men in white coats contemplate the future of my beloved tonsils. Hence, I thought I'd throw together a brief list of the worst product placement I have seen in movies recently. For those young grasshoppers who don't tune in to The Gruen Transfer regularly or know what product placement is, basically it's when an advertiser pays to have a product placed in a movie. Sometimes this is done discreetly or tactfully, other times the placement is as shameless as Britney Spears after two Bloody Mary's. Here are some of the worst:
Evolution (2001)
The plot of this movie is pretty basic; some aliens invade earth and a rag-tag group of academics have to find a way to stop them (in comedic fashion, of course). What kills the extra terrestrials you ask? The chemical selenium sulfide which is one of the key ingredients in Head & Shoulders anti-dandruff shampoo. After this revelation the rest of the movie is made up of the main characters gathering as much Head & Shoulders as they can and firing it at the aliens to, you guessed it, save the world. I feel the word shameless is a gross understatement here because when the crux of a movie is based around a particular product which ends up saving the day . . . well, shameless doesn't even begin to cover it.
Every Michael Bay film ever made 
You don't need three guesses to work out where Bayhem gets the money for his special effects budget. Seriously, just watch any of his films ever and afterwards you'll be fighting the urge to buy buy buy. Standouts in his shameless product placement filmography would have to be Transformers and The Island.
Casino Royale (2006)
Bond films are known for their product placement and it has become an accepted part of the franchise, just like tuxedos and vadge. But the following lines of dialogue were too shameless to leave out. Note: clever product placement disguised as witty banter, oh really Mr Bond.
Vesper: Oh, you are? I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense! Since MI6 looks for maladjusted young men, who give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect queen and country. You know... former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches.
[Glances at his wrist]
Vesper: Rolex?
James Bond: Omega.
Vesper: Beautiful.
Blade Trinity (2004)
One of the most ridiculous examples of shameless product placement ever, yes, even worse than Head & Shoulders being used to save the world. The third film from the Blade franchise basically plays like a two-hour ipod ad. There's actually an exchange where one character explains to Blade how a female vampire slayer likes to listen to her ipod when she hunts. Plus there's a scene where you see her putting together her `hunting playlist'. Forget being able to actually hear your enemies coming or making sure all your senses are focussed on the battle ahead, as long as you can listen to the Nine Inch Nails while slaying a few vamps, it's all good. Ridiculous.
