Noooooooo-vember!!!

I know what you’re thinking.

My first reaction was "WTF!" too. And no, this is not a joke.

This is actually the first image of Robert Pattison (aka Edward Cullen aka Cedric Diggory) playing a young Salvador Dali in the up and coming biopic Little Ashes. The film itself concentrates on the early life and loves of Dali, filmmaker Luis Bunuel and writer Federico García Lorca after they met at university in Madrid. Honestly the movie sounds great and no doubt this role is a step forward for Pattison boosting his reputation as a serious character actor. BUT WTF! The producers and director of Dali must be crazier than Sarah Palin playing Grand Theft Auto to have let this costuming decision through. We’re not asking Pattison to get all Renee Zellweger on us and stuff himself with donuts for three months to play a role but at least try and make it semi-realistic people! Yeah, okay, Dali was known for his avant-garde facial hair but this moustache looks so fake I think I could have done a better job drawing it on in Microsoft paint. That being said, if this is the standard major Hollywood make-up artists have dropped to then what the heck, I’m going to kick start Pattison’s career with my energy legs by suggesting a few roles I think he would be perfect to play now that physical likeness is no longer an issue.

Robert Pattison in . . .
Marilyn Monr-ohhhh
‘From porn star to scantily clad movie star, the life and death of Marilyn Monroe’

Robert Pattison and an all star cast in . . .
Obama-Rama
‘The musical adaptation of Barack Obama’s heart warming campaign to be the first nig- (cough) black President’



Robert Pattison in . . .
The Einstein Factor
‘For Albert, life just didn’t always add up’

Robert Pattison features in . . .
Opps, I did it Again
‘They took away her kids. They took away her success. And now, they’re trying to take away her cigarettes. Britney Spears is back . . .with a vengeance’


Robert Pattison stars in . . .
Lil Kim, Big City
‘The adventures of Kim Jong il’

**Little Ashes is directed by British filmmaker Paul Morrison and will be released in Australia in 2009.