Just (heart) beat it

If you thought the film was bad, wait to you watch my video review of A Hearbeat Away. I sound half asleep, which is actually pretty accurate.

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Der ner, der ner, derner derner derner!

Note: the above title is my attempt at putting words to the Jaws score. Thoughts? Mine are: epic fail. So, new Aussie thriller The Reef is out on Thursday and to sate your sharky appetites, here’s my video REVIEW of the film. Just a few scrolls down is my exclusive chat with the film’s star Damian Walshe-Howling, but if you want a walk down memory lane you can read my equally exclusive chats with writer/director Andrew Traucki here and with co-star Gyton Grantley here.

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Cue boxing related puns in 5, 4, 3 . . .

I may be on holidays this week, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be visually stimulated. Or that I’m taking a break. Or that I will stop finding any excuse to talk about Mark Wahlberg. On that note, HERE’S my video review of The Fighter.

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Caving in

After the visual trauma of last weeks video, I (only slightly more confidently) bring you my video review of Sanctum HERE. Sure, the trailer cuts in mid sentence, but that apparently makes sense to my video editor *grumble grumble*

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Videodrone

My online video reviews are back, I know, you must have been clawing at the sides of your head without them. So relax, step away from the ledge and click here for my brief, technologically redundant and visually boring run down on the Oscars. Heaven forbid our video editor should paste a trailer over my one minute rant or, shock horror, use cameras that actually work. In other news, here’s a picture of a Great White Shark air-eating a seal because:
a) it’s more visually stimulating than my video
b) Great White Shark’s are Mother Nature’s version of Danny Trejo

(Above) "Machete don't text"

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And just in case you don't read good . . .

. . .HERE'S my video version of the summer movie special, filmed today. Oh, and I get extra points for my festive attire. Although, it isn't as overtly festive (and queer) as this fellow.Cats. Why are there cats wearing bows? *shudder*

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Turn me Tron

This is slightly belated, but I forgot to post my Tron video review last week so HERE it is in all it’s neon glory. Enjoy, I think :o)

Tron is out now.

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Merry Exorcism

And a happy projectile vomit to you. I know its been out for a while now, but everyone's favourite sick Eli Roth is behind The Last Exorcism and you can watch my video review of the flick HERE. As Kanye West once said, "she loves Jesus, but she learnt a lot from Satan." Amen Yeezy, Amen.
The Last Exorcism is out now.

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Seeing Red

Hello bloggins. Just a quick post for you here – a link to my video review of Aussie flick Red Hill. For my exclusive interview with star Ryan Kwanten and writer, director, producer, editor Patrick Hughes click here. Red Hill is currently screening.

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Oh, to be loved . . .

Are you sick of hearing about The Loved Ones yet? No? Good, because HERE is my online video review of the film. I argue that it’s worth watching simply for my awesome earrings and believe me, they are awesome.

The Loved Ones is out now and stay peeled for my exclusive chat with director Sean Byrne.

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If you would rather be Buried than watch Eat, Pray, Love...

So, I have recently returned from Egypt and I'm now spending a week or so in London and to my surprise what do I find? That Australian release dates are waaaay ahead of the UK! And here I was thinking it was the other way around. While we're apparently getting the freshest titles relatively quickly, the UK cinemas are playing flicks that were in Aussie cinemeas months ago. Months! I have a friend who works at Paramount in the UK and he informs me that because of the world cup all of the release dates got pushed back, which makes sense, but it still weirds me out a bit when I see posters advertising The Rebound over here. Anyway, one film that did not freak me out was the over-hyped Buried. Sure, it's still better than Julia Roberts (much as I love her) riding a bike over some bridge in Bali and finding herself but . . .well, let me make up your mind with my online video review HERE.

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For your viewing (dis)pleasure

You have been pining for it and now, TA DA, I bring you my video review of The Other Guys here. If you don’t get some enjoyment out of watching me squirm Lindsay Lohan in a courtroom, then you have no soul. Also, you can read my exclusive interview with Mark and Will here, or you can watch a video of my red-carpet coverage here and for assorted The Other Guys news click here, here and here.

The Other Guys opens on Thursday.

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Splice and dice baby

Readers, feel free to marvel at my multitasking skills if you will because on top of covering the Australian International Movie Convention (AIMC) on the Gold Coast this week and attending screenings, premieres, interviews, seminars, panel discussions and orgies with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell, I have still managed to get up my weekly online video movie review. This week looked at Splice and you can take a geeze at the video here.

Also, my straight-to-camera piece on the AIMC is also worth a look, albeit only for comedic purposes. For more serious news hounds, the Australian federal election is coming up on Saturday and the Coalition announced their Arts Policy with BIG boosts to the Aussie film industry. Get the lo-down here.

Stay tuned for my interviews with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell and coverage from the red carpet Australian premiere of The Other Guys. It will be posted this afternoon.

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An epic review of epic epicness

Kiddies, prepare to wet your panties because my online video review of Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is up. You can view it HERE.

Thanks has to go to my mad gamer friends, headed by Peflab, who helped me with the tech terminology. I hope y’all like it and stay tuned for my extended written review.

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Check out my awesome black eye!

So, if you’re looking for something to make you crack the hell up this Friday afternoon, then I recommend watching my bruised face review Step Up 3D here. Seriously, for the facial distortion alone it’s sooo worth it.

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Here's the kick

I promised not to continue rabbiting on about it, and I won't, besides telling y'all to trot over and watch my video review of Inception HERE. It's awesome because mid-review I spin down a hallway in this incredible, gravity-defying stunt. Maybe. You'll have to watch it to find out if I'm lying.

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Me I'm a creator, thrill is to make it up

By the time you read this I will be dead. Ha, just kidding, but my review of Inception will be posted above and therefore my online video review of Creation pales in significance. Alas, I’m posting it anyway - to watch click here.Above: Connelly had really let herself go after her Oscar win.

In semi-related news, my review of Inception is now the third most-read article on the Gold Coast Bulletin website AND it was only posted last night! Me thinks that gives plenty of juice to the `people regularly read and enjoy reviews’ argument.

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